Redemption…

Blog 6, this number was the initial target I had in mind when I started blogging 6 months back. I very well knew what I’m goanna write now right from the time I started to share things here. I’m pretty bad at following a routine and there are quite a bit of instances that happened, not this time. I managed to come here, thanks to people for the motivation. 

Sep 4^th 2010. I’m now a 25 year old. If I traverse all the way back and forth and check out the highlights, lowlights and insights of my not so many years lived yet lived, not so detailed yet briefed, not so challenged yet motivated, no so achieved yet competed, not so impressive yet interesting life I should say I’m some what happy. Now, I’m walking through my days of the so called ordinary life that might not interest the readers but still a personal choice that was chosen months ago I have to go with it.

Now why ordinary? What is an ordinary life? Why I repeatedly use this word ordinary? What is ordinary?

I as many others believe in God, I go to him when I want something and abuse him when I don’t get that. I even doubted his existence many a times, when the power turned off at the crucial moment of few cricket matches, when I got rejected in a technical interview, when I flunked in one of my well written exam, when I got suspended, when few things that are now good but not when it happened and in many other occasions I doubted his existence. But end of the day I always had the belief in super natural power and depended way too much on that. Does that make me ordinary? Yeah, kind of, but not really!

The two siblings of ordinary Mr. Very Ordinary and Mr. Extra Ordinary are clear, the threshold for these levels is visible, but this, the hero ordinary, what is the factor that determines it? Not just me, most of my friends, family and my fellow Indians remain ordinary. Perhaps, we prefer to be ordinary all the time. What keeps us to be happy about living an ordinary life? Enough of puzzling, let us together figure it out right now, right here, we need some one’s life to mark few points and connect them to see how an ordinary life looks, let it be mine, a perfect ordinary.

Years ago, I was too young to remember the exact year; I stole a pack of bread from a shop. Like many scoundrels the country has seen, I also began (I never followed) it with a pack of bread, not for the same reason, but I don’t know why I did that. Not an immediate reaction, in some time, after many days I remembered that, something reminded me that. The stories that the eyes will be snatched by the almighty when people get into immoral activates scared me like hell. It pushed me to the corners with Guilt. Regardless to say you are afraid only when you are guilty. I was guilt and I couldn’t come out of it. It took me many days to forget that, the more the TV channels showed about thieves, the more I went to ashrams and temples that taught us what are good and what not, I was thrown to the dead ends of being guilty. I started praying God many times, so many hours a day to get me out of it. I lost my little peace for so many days.

I grew up a little, I was out of that guilt, and started being guilty for being guilty for a damn pack of bread. Anyways that was not longer, I had another immediate reason to fall into bigger guilt. I cut my school went to a movie with my friend when I was 11 year old. I wanted to tell my parents about it,  felt like a piece of shit, festivals were no more fun and every time I went to theater with my family I didn’t enjoy. I was guilt as well as afraid that my father will kill me when he comes to know, I finally managed to come out of that too. But I again lost my little peace for a brief time.

People, who have never been guilty, can’t really understand what that the above lines mean. May be there won’t be many who don’t understand, probably there won’t be any who had never been guilty.

Whenever I get myself out of guilt, I had the next reason waiting. Older I became, heavier the incidents to push me into guilt. It doesn’t really mean when you are guilt you don’t enjoy, you don’t indulge yourself into happiness or fun. Things would go very normally as easy as it goes in a guilt free life when people are around; things would start to hurt when you are alone, only when you are alone. The time that is really important for anybody for the transformation of an ordinary being to an extra ordinary usually get so much occupied with this guilty consciousness.

This is not the right place for those bigger reasons or even a place to share them all and start confessing, after all the intention is not to say the world that my life is transparent. Everybody should be ashamed of their negatives, so do I. I exactly know how it sounds in a hi-tech life that we live now, if I say I was guilt for no reasons. PS3s, iPhones and Laptops certainly changed our lives a lot, but now the point is one might not get Guilty for the same reason. There are plenty of different reasons and I could still say many of us, we ordinaries are guilty. In other words, we are ordinary because we are guilty for one reason or the other.

The beginning of an extra ordinary is being happy with what you are, finding the peace all the time, and understanding, analyzing and knowing you completely and still falling in love with thyself. That doesn’t really end, now this is just the beginning. Yeah, I’m ready to begin my extra ordinary life but what will I do to my existing guilts? If you have a question, the coming magical words did wonders for me. ‘I did it because I wanted it. Now it is not right and I’m not doing it anymore’.

Next, coming to what is called as the known problem, what that defines we are, a vital knot which would even cost our lives even if we think about touching with aggression. That is being a citizen, patriotism and things related to Geography. Yet another place where we remain ordinary since 1947; I understand we were Very ordinary before that. As long as I talk only about my rights and forget my duties I remain an ordinary. I’m not very bothered if the politicians for whom I voted corrupt my country. If I read something about them in the newspapers, if I get to know they have looted my countries wealth I don’t even react. But I get over excited, over patriotic when a cricketer gets caught in match fixing. My patriotism and my care about the society are just associated with cricket so I remain an ordinary. I represent my society, a society full of ordinaries.

I don’t have the courage to change the evil which is not shameful but I fail to even think about it which is, which is an attribute of an ordinary. May be my guilt, the things that made me feel inferior about myself is a reason for that, something that has convinced even myself that I could do nothing. I could do nothing because I’m an ordinary.

All the ones who did so many good things for the needy are ordinary if they had a reason to do that. There are so many ways of getting out of one’s guilt and doing good things is one such way. If you try to find peace with what you do you are ordinary. If you live for a smaller circle you are ordinary.

Every person is given a list of options to decide your life by the almighty. They altogether form the same number for any human being and the choice is left to you. With whatever brain you have you select the features of your life and bring that number when you are born. There are no regrets here, you live what you wanted. For the atheists out there, the theory is simple. Refine your everyday thinking, father of Physics called it science. You will end up finding peace, happiness and everything else you want.

Yes, I always liked something or the other feature from someone, few are good looking, few are brilliant, few are both and few appear excellent all the time. But if I think about living some one else’s life, if I still get a chance to add more features I could see none. No one’s life has impressed me so much that I would love living theirs. I can easily be happy being myself and only be happy being myself. So be it any theory, atheism or godliness I live what I opted, I opted what I really wanted. I have no big complaints except that my nose could have been little smaller. And no big unachievable wishes except that my laziness vanishes off all of a sudden.

So living in peace, getting out of your guilts, being a citizen (again it is a geographical term, I would say a citizen is one who is good to all), understanding my duties, not that I can change the society in no time as all our Action hero does, but contribute something that could impact significantly are the actions that can carry an ordinary to the path of an Extra ordinary. The walk towards next level, is that enough to live as an extra ordinary? Not enough. But this is will certainly take you close to the destination.

We ordinaries become extra ordinary when it comes to challenges. Many have done miracles when challenged, but we failed to understand that the biggest challenge that we are facing is being happy with what we have, being what we are. Many of them already lost this without knowing that they have been challenged and many of us are still losing this challenge every single day.

These 25 years, I’m now sick of an ordinary life. I now need a redesign; I now don’t ask the super powers to take me out of my guilt, to make me extra ordinary. I’m challenged but provided with enough weapons to win this challenge, win this war. The redemption is over, now the next phase of life starts, the challenge to be an extra ordinary individual and an extra ordinary citizen is on. 

Living is what you live when you are no more, the challenge is accepted. Unfortunately nobody is prefect, but fortunately any body can be extra ordinary. I want to be an extra ordinary and represent a society of extra ordinaries with enormous proud.

Now the tales of an extra ordinary begins. The stage is set, the show begins….

Thanks for your time folks, Have an extra ordinary day.