The Musical chair

To start off, I thank everyone who spent their precious time in reading my first blog (The way), and thanks for the encouraging comments given by many over various mediums. I appreciate it!!!

Every other thing in the life is due to an inspiration, being an artist, being a sportsman; being a software engineer (exclude if that happened by chance not choice) or even being yourself is due to an inspiration. Some realize it, rest makes you realize. The way I started writing is also due to an inspiration.

There is nothing magical, nothing heroic its just getting inspired and doing it for the sake of ?? for the sake of?? I don’t know. Let me explore it. What it takes to do a thing form the heart, what keeps us going, what is that we (both good and bad, rich and poor) actually want, what is driving us..? What is life is what my next blog is about.

Wonder if Mahatma Gandhi, Winston Churchill, Mother Theresa or Swami Vivekananda is alive they would get shocked seeing their thoughts about life still living in the status messages of many face book and orkut users. I'm not gonna shock them by writing what they said. It's about me, life in the eyes of a 24 year old.

Here we goo.

I nicked a ball to the keeper; the catch was neatly taken and was given out. I didn’t agree, I argued, I swore that I wasn't out and finally got the decision in my favor. I was 14 then.

Life was all about winning for me. I was a kind of person who can't accept or even tolerate failures. I believed in nothing like winning and one can do anything to win. It doesn't matter whether it is mathematics, cricket, drawing competition or whatever damn thing I was interested in. I wanted to win.

Days passed, when I couldn't cope up with so much of competition, I started losing here and there. I started getting used to ‘once in a while’ failures.

Few more days, once in a while became routine, I couldn’t argue every time to be successful the moral science that was taught in my primary schooling did not allow me to do that. I realized that I need to be extremely ruthless to be successful all the time.

I started accepting failures and slowly moved to the other end of the road that is being honest. You got to be either 100 % successful or 100% honest to deserve complete respect in life. So life is not about winning all the time I concluded. Started wearing honesty where I couldn’t win.

4 years later when I started my life in a private engineering college, when my education started hurting my family members financially, like every other middle class Indian I also believed money is everything. Semester fees, exam fees, books, transport, project work, record notes, floppy drives and A4 sheets.. Everything appeared expensive and so many days I wondered being rich!!

Days passed the thoughts remained; it stayed for a while till the time I got a chance to write my first blog. The fact that I have sacrificed my bed coffees, Besant Nagar beach, amma's innocent laughs, dad’s scolding for getting home late, fights with sister and her unique cooking, Good morning SMSs, chat with friends,  a drive around my street and many other things made me realize that money isn’t everything.

So life is not about winning as well as not about money I added to my conclusion. Then what is life?

Is it love?? No. But it is definitely above success and money, I’m not considering the fact that all of them are tightly coupled. Still I’m very sure that love is not everything. Sati is no more.

Then what is life...  Being happy? Even being happy every day has never really let me sleep few times, so I'm sick of all the time happiness as well. What else is life?? It’s not about doing good deeds for reducing your karma level; it is not saving money for the fourth generation whom we not gonna see, to whom we can even lend some money if the theory of next birth ever exists.

With all these questions running all over my cerebrum I happened to watch few kids playing musical chair near the club. The mind that was just free from all the critical product deliveries and all object orientations was relaxing there watching their play.

With time the game looked more and more interesting, one kid was playing a mind game and the other a funny game, one was pulling out others and one was running in the reverse direction. Finally one managed to win. I felt that was one of the closest associations I ever had with myself, was correlating the game of life with this musical chair and witnessed a precise explanation that this is what our life is all about.

Life plays some music and expects us to sit somewhere we can when the music stops. When you find a seat, it doesn’t mean you have won coz it will again start and again it will expect you to sit somewhere. The music won’t stop unless you are alone. When you realize that you are alone there won’t be any music, the very next second you will have or will not have any near you depending on the way you played the game.

You have two choices here. Enjoy the music that life plays have fun with people around and play the game or play the game just for the sake of winning it. I won’t be surprised if my philosophy gets changed when my numbers are interchanged, on the course of enjoying the music I may be standing somewhere opposite to where I am now. I won’t be surprised.

For now, I'm enjoying my music, trying to have some fun with whoever is near, trying to add some more meaning to my game, trying to get a seat so that I can enjoy the next level of music. It's not about winning anyone. It’s not about losing to anyone. It’s me... It’s my life... I'm enjoying its music...


So start the meeeesic..................................

The way...

It's worth a wait. Wait for the reason for my first blog. One can write on anything literally.

Be it the review of a movie, be it the incident that happened, be it the speech that inspired, one can write on anything. But, there isn't anything like first and first can't happen second time so it is special, it is an universally accepted fact, even the zero inventors, the fellow Indians would agree this. I got the reason for my first blog.

I have completed one year in a foreign country. I know its definitely not an achievement but the way I got here is making me feel that it is special. The flight journey, the day before the travel, how it felt when the flight took off, what I miss, how much I miss, the void feelings and the isolated mind etc etc.. all these things are as old as diffusing a bomb right at the last second. I'm not gonna write anything on that, nothing that is already analysed, accepted or known.

I do not like disclaimers, they are just the announcement that I'm gonna tear u apart, but u don't take it personally.. still its more like a thing without which the things would look incomplete.. Just like the 'I'm feeling lucky' button of google. Just being a Roman.

DISCLAIMER:
DO NOT RELATE YOURSELF ANYWHERE. I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE IF YOU DO SO.


About my current and future writings, I like things when they are simple, no right click synonyms in MS Word for equivalent complicated words and I try not to exaggerate things as much as possible.


Here we goo...

It all started one year before, no add two more months, when the word 'bangalored' was added in Oxford, when states' state was like never before, when almost all gods were flooded with plenty of requests and obligations, when even swiss bank was bankrupted, my project got scrapped.

It was expected yet unacceptable when we got the news. We a group of 30 thrown to bench together where there were at least 200 bench mates already awaiting a new project. There were not many projects coming in, in fact every company was firing the average performers, laying off ppl who usually worked just 10 hours a day to maintain the profit margin.

In spite of knowing that the firm I work was honestly trying to keep its employees, we the employees were panic. The situation was really worse that could force even the most stubborn employers to lose their grip and become villains anytime. I was clueless about whats next. What if I don't get project in the next 700 hours, what if I lose my job, what's my bank balance, how much my parents earn, whats the safety I have in life, every answer I got was negative and I could still remember the day I turned pale thinking all these things. I was in no man's land where the entire world was standing very next to me.

I was searching hard for openings outside and within the company and finally a good news reached us about few onsite openings for a duration of 6 months for which we need to fight among ourselves to be one among the luckiest few.

Luck ?? It is still a mystery. A formula even the biggest of biggest scientists failed to find. All we need in life is a formula for luck, I keep saying this. The battle began, profiles forwarded, so many profiles, so many replies almost every profile was accepted for the initial screening except mine. Just because my experience was a month less than 2 years, the minimum experience to get a work permit.

Nobody except me knew that I had the needed experience and I was two full days more when I got the rejection mail. I was 2 years 2 days then. I knew I cant give up, I don't afford to give up, I have to prove somehow that I'm an eligible Indian to work on foreign soil and I managed to do with almost no hopes. My profile was finally taken in. In the mean time the positions got filled, there was only one left. The competition was becoming heavy everyday.

The profile got shortlisted in the second level of screening along with few others and we were asked to undergo the interview the very next day to fill in the last available slot. The topics were given and the challenge was to prove all your skills to the foreign client, to the world, to yourself before the next sun set.

The day I went home early with all the technical books in hand, the day I read, read, read and read every minute. I was almost ready for the technical discussion right from the day I heard the word recession. More than my technical skills I doubted my communication. I wasn't a English movie watcher then, all I watched was 'Titanic' a couple of times and ten other movies with subtitles which I don't even remember many of their names. I was a typical government school passed out and the fact was my school was lot better than my college. I'm strictly against smileys !!!

I thought I need to do something for my communication, so watch a movie as well. I ended up watching an English movie late night and woke up the sun well in advance.The next 8 hours in office was full of tension and friends who weren't shortlisted for interview, who were still in problem, gave lot of confidence that I could deliver though they knew the competition is among people who were twice or thrice as experienced as me.

Time, the only consistent worker reached the place on time, the interview started, after few 'pardon me's and sorries I was able to understand the questions. The last night's English movie dint do any magic but gave some confidence, the technical questions were just up-to my level and I did average.

The local project manager asked how the interview went, the answer from my side was 'ordinary' in fact 'very ordinary'. Anybody would have scolded me for screwing the chance but he dint because of the designation he belonged. The result will be broad casted the next morning, (evening in their land) and I somehow managed to sleep that night without thinking what I have done. All I knew was I gave everything I had, I was even little satisfied with my interview, but was not confident.

Next Morning, 6 30 am I got the call from the manager saying 'congrats, u got selected.. apply for the work permit asap'. And the most shocking news was, I was the only person who is gonna travel because the requirement got changed to one. Just one.

Luck... I still don't know its formula, but, if at all some one derive it, I'm quite sure that the formula will include something called hard work.

I was like an athlete who won the gold medal for his country, like a girl who crowned as the Miss World, I remembered the pursuit of happYness climax, (don't laugh) I made three calls one by one.. To three beloved ones of that time..

To be continued...